Sweet Soliloquies

I’ve missed participating in Wishcasting Wednesday the last few weeks. We all need to take time for ourselves to reflect, explore and dream, and support the wishes and dreams of others. Jamie’s question for us today is:

What dream do you wish to explore?

Over the past year, many of my Wednesday wishes have been about writing, drawing, getting over my fears and making time for creativity. I still want to do all those things, but I believe all the wishing and dreaming has helped me find focus and clarified where I want to take those wishes.

For too long, I felt writing fiction was the only way for me to go. I dabbled in memoir and poetry, and entertained the idea of writing a column or magazine articles, but never gave them as much mental energy as I did in writing fiction. It may sound strange but in 2009, I’m sure I wrote more memoir and poetry than fiction, yet my hopes and dreams were pinned on writing the next great novel. So much so, that I stifled any creativity and ideas I had by wanting it far too much. Maybe I’m not meant to write fiction; or at least maybe not right now.

Simplicity and authenticity have also been subjects of my dreams. Living with stress and anxiety, as many of us do, has produced such a yearning for peace and quietude in my life. I’ve had dreams of living on a hobby farm, caring for animals, growing our own food, and making handmade items to feed my need for creativity and hopefully earn a profit to support the lifestyle. Hard work, a tired body, but a peaceful mind seems such a luxury. I don’t know how long that would last, however, as my desire for the city and activity would surely lure me away. Maybe its best to simply my life as I know it now. Declutter, focus on what is important, feed my soul, and practice meditative techniques.

As I begin to quiet my mind, and react to anxiety differently, I am being given a vision of how I can put all these pieces together. My creative desires and need for peace do not have to be mutually exclusive. I can put them together in such a way I could be helpful to others as I help myself. It is unfair not to tell you about the project I’m cooking up but I will say that the ideas are flowing and seem possible and true.

The dream I wish to explore this year is to go into each idea or project that comes my way with joy and a light spirit. I will only promise and commit to those things I can give my best intention. I know the pressure I put on myself and will listen to my intuition. I’ve been told I have a constant underlying worry at all times, about many things, and it’s true. It’s just there. It’s time to get to all those things I should be doing (decluttering closets, tightening up financial records, etc.) so I can feel better about making time for what I want to be doing. That alone should release some anxiety. I will then go into each creative project with joy. No pressure or expectations, just enjoying the moment, the puzzle pieces fitting together in a story, and the rush of excitement when I find the perfect word in a poem. I will write more memoir, scrapmoir and poetry. That’s where my heart is right now.

I believe I am not the only one seeking peace. The world right now is a crazy, difficult, lonely and terrifying place, yet it is also beautiful and nurturing, surprising and educational, and I will explore new avenues to find and share that beauty with others.

I have many dreams to explore, as do many of my friends. If you’d like to learn more about them, please check out Wishcasting Wednesday at Jamie Ridler Studios.